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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - He is planning on moving in with me in January when his lease is up (he is already over there about half the week anyway.) Which is why not having it in the house was discussed. We have been talking about marriage and I assume, based on our discussions, he will be proposing early next year.

So, I'm thinking I should suggest he attend AA meetings and speak with people there about his request that I need to become a sober person too?

We are going to a friends destination wedding next year. My parents have a house at the beach we go to several times over the summer. I like being able to have a beer when I'm on vacation or at a celebration. I really don't have much of a problem with not drinking on our local/regular outings like I usually do. But I don't think that's something I want to completely omit, especially on special occasions.

And I feel like breaking up over me having 2 or 3 beers at a wedding is ridiculous, and makes me seem like I'm the one with the problem for not giving it up for the sake of a relationship. Not saying I anticipate this being a cause to break up, but I'm unsure how attached to this idea he is, because I haven't really pressed the issue since I don't know how this whole thing works. I'm hoping he was just being over-zealous in his initial pursuit into being a sober person.[/quote]PP here who thinks your bf is being unreasonable.  I would say, however, that in the early months of sobriety, it would be helpful for you to not drink even on special occasions when you are out with him, especially at a wedding.  It's hard being around a bunch of people who are having a drink and having a good time when you have recently realized that you can't drink at all.  But this is all more reason for him to be in AA and to have a sponsor.  Traveling to weddings are the kind of things that people who are early on in AA prepare for by strategizing how they will deal with the presence of alcohol and lining up people in the program to call for support when they are feeling stressed by alcohol.

Seriously, going to a destination wedding is not just about whether you will have a drink.  Your bf has to have a plan in place to deal with the extra temptations he will experience during what is a "special" occasion -- as in, this is a special occasion so I should just have one drink.  
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