Reply to Same old story. I resent intrusive mil for messing with my marriage.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]1. Set Firm boundaries. 
2. Get DH on board.
3. Present a united front.

Do it now, or suffer for years and do it later. It's like ripping off a bandaid. DH needs to reach down and check to make sure he's still got balls, and then USE them to stand up to his mother. [/quote]

Yes this.   It took us a while (and planning a wedding gave us some practice) but my husband and I have learned that we MUST be a united front, he MUST have my back (and I his) and we put our nuclear family first.  Period.

He deals primarily w/ his parents, and I deal primarily with my parents, and we make sure we keep each other informed about the postiion we're taking.  I also have had to learn how to be really clear about what my boundaries are so that it's something he can understand and articulate.  I've also had to have a couple of unpleasant moments w/ my MIL when she tried to push back, or got petulant with me, or shared personal information about me with her entire distribution list, etc...   We are several years and two kids into our marriage and the worst of this is behind us now, though it still flares up.  But now she knows that she won't get different answers from either one of us and that guilting us doesn't work.  I'm taking this as good training for managing kids who try to play the parents off each other as they get older.  :-)

Good luck OP.  At the core this is a marital issue between you and your husband.  You both have to decide (and fully agree with and support each other) where the boundaries are.[/quote]

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