Reply to Jaded about friends

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Jaded about friends"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op - you can share, I'll listen. [/quote]

Ok. Please keep in mind I'm just listing it so it may seem a bit more rude than intended.

She was dating a jerk.  She would call and text about how he cheated on her, called her fat, Etc.  The advice I gave her she didn't want to hear ( I.e dump him).  After awhile I stopped giving her advice when she complained about him.  When they eventually broke up, she actually got mad at me for not making her break up with him sooner.

She started dating another jerk shortly after.  I made a remark along the lines of "he seems a lot like ex" and she swore he was different.  I didn't have the energy to go through another long time telling her to dump the jerk.

We have similar careers, I'm an RN, she's an LPN. We started at the same time and I did an accelerated BSN as I already had a masters.  She didn't have the grades to get into an RN program.  Any time I mentioned anything about school, she saw it as bragging and acting superior to her.  Even if it was something like bitching about a tough day during clinicals.  But if she needed to talk about nursing stuff, she expected me to listen.

We have been with our SO for the same amount of time.  DH and I are married and have a kid.  Her boyfriend just decided it was ok for her to move in.  (We've all been together for 6 years).  If I ever brought up wedding stuff, she would be mad and jealous.  And yet later I was expected to hear all the details of her potential future wedding and plans.

She also had very low self esteem which manifested into a weird kind of "you have to be the same friend to me as I am to you and I will hold it against you if you don't live up to my standards" type mentality.  But really her idea of investing so much thiught and effort into the friendship was misguided. She spent so much time looking at all the things I didn't do that she completely didn't notice the things I did do.  She expected me to be able to drop everything when she was having a rough spell not understanding that I work full time, have a husband, and have a kid and that her talking about how her boyfriend still hadn't popped the question for the umpteenth time is not going to be a priority for me.

[b]I'm not saying I'm a perfect friend. No one is.  But her expectation of perfection meant that all the things I did that didn't measure up to her standards meant she discounted all the ways I was a good friend.  [/b]

It finally got to be too much for me and I actually posted about it online here.  All those pps were right that I needed to back away from the friendship. [/quote]
I really relate to the bolded part above. I'm sorry, because this kind of thing is painful. Thank you for sharing it.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics