Reply to My kids ADORE and love my step mom but inside of me in kinda stings

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[quote=Anonymous]Hi again OP -- 22:07 back.

It does really help to tell stories about your mom. My kids are the same age, and my 3 year old just knows "Nana" as his grandma, but my 5 year old really distinguishes between the two. We make recipes my mom used to make together, do crafts I remember doing with her, read books, etc. and I always make sure to mention that "Grammy" would do all those things with me. I also say things like "Oh, Grammy would love so much to hear you singing that song! She loved Christmas music!". It's heartening to hear my older child talking about her and asking about her - and it's heartening to hear from all the PPs who were the grandchildren in this situation!

I think the "jealousy" (for lack of a better word) feelings get easier as the kids get older and are able to distinguish between relationships. I'm better able to appreciate my wonderful step-mother for all she gives to my children, and how she makes my dad happy though I still miss my own mother terribly. Maintaining relationships with my mom's old friends and family, even just via Facebook, also helps. So does venting with my siblings about the things my step-mother does that are so far from what my mom would have done (like not having a decent mixer in her house to make cookies, when my mom was an awesome baker!). We all understand that these things are truly inconsequential, and we are so lucky to have 'Nana', but sometimes when you miss your mom you need to be able to whine about it a little. Hope you have someone like that in your life who understands, and if not, at least you have the rest of us on DCUM who do! [/quote]

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