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[quote=Anonymous]OP here--thank you so much for all the feedback. I want to start good boundaries and habits now so I don't have more stories for this board! I think I needed a reality check, since I wasn't sure if this was normal, red flags, or if I was being overly sensitive. It's nice to know it's probably a bit of all of the above!

Now that I think about it, it's probably true that we're all going through a transition of our roles and it will take some time to figure those out. It's also true that they care about him a ton, which means this all comes from a good place. I also need to be able to set boundaries. In this last visit, most things seemed way too minor to get into a battle about, but I know I need to be willing to. In our relationship, DH is way more laid back than I am, which is often a good counterbalance for me--but obviously not always!

With the not giving him back thing, although it didn't seem like a big deal, it was surprising at the time and more disturbing when I looked back on it. MIL had been holding him for a while and he was asleep, but we wanted to see if he would wake up and eat (it was past his normal time). She just wanted to keep holding him and let him sleep. Again, it started off jokingly (I thought) but then she really tried to keep him by walking away! I'm glad DH stepped in then.

I'm also glad to see other people share my instincts about day care. I know that'll be a much bigger conversation, but at least I don't feel crazy for my hunches. And they'll definitely be involved in his/our lives and will probably babysit.. I like the idea of starting small there!

Basically, thank you for letting me know I'm not alone and this doesn't have to be so bad![/quote]

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