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[quote=Anonymous]RE: Trashy - remember that this is subjective; after all, she came from the same background as your husband, and he chose you... (perhaps I'm sensitive about this because my MIL had a big objection to me - thought I was trash. I really hate the term as a descriptor for people). The things you say about your husband's family, and vice versa, reflect on you. She may not be like you, she may not enjoy the same things, and she may have different values. None of that is something you can change. (For example, my MIL thought I was trash because - literally - I'm tall, cut my hair short, didn't wear make-up, and didn't wear designer clothes). It is fine to not like someone, and it is even fine to want to set boundaries with someone because of your dislike, but unless you can really show that her "trashiness" is more actual harm than your personal preference, you can't keep your husband from his sister.

And your child is his child too; he gets a say in who has a relationship with the child. If you are both on the same page, this will be so much easier. The two of you should talk about what kind of relationship he wants your child to have with his sister, and then HE can be in charge of that relationship. You can step back.

Re: Smoking - this, you can clearly and firmly put your foot down about. I don't allow smoking in my house, nor would I allow it on my porch. The backyard, I'd probably be more flexible, as long as the butts were picked up. And absolutely none around my child if I can help it (I can't control what strangers in public do). You can set the rules about second hand smoke.

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