Reply to s/o Does anyone on DCUM actually like their in-laws?

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Reply to "s/o Does anyone on DCUM actually like their in-laws?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It seems to be generally assumed on here that everyone dislikes their in-laws. I have a very close relationship with mine, love our family vacations, and can't imagine being in a disagreement with them. Also, is it mostly women who hate their in-laws or men too? [/quote]
It's been asked a million times here. Many people do like their ILs, but it's those who don't, are looking for support online. I can't imagine you feel the need to create many threads declaring your love to ILs.[/quote]

Be grateful if your ILs have something in common with you, or are at least warm, loving and open to new members.  Sometimes it has to do with gender.  I think most negative feelings are between MIL and DIL because either these things are absent; or as a poster on another thread mentioned, there is often unconscious competition felt by MIL.  In other words, if DH chooses a woman totally different from MIL, MIL sees that as a personal affront.  I know mine does.  It's best to stay out of her path.  She is bitter, and only getting worse with age.

My personal feeling is that the MIL has a certain responsibility to reach out a bit, if she wants anyone to see her as the "matriarch" (mine does, which again, makes it difficult - they are not the Kennedys).

If there is nothing in common - for example, a thin, tall, girly, bubbly personality comes into a family of gnome-like, butch frumps - just an example, of course.  Well, the larger group is going to feel friction, and won't be very open.  Just saying.

These are examples that may give you perspective.  I fully expect nasty MILs to step forward in response.  But if a MIL is happy in their own lives (educated, accomplished, just plain happy), and mostly has been, then it stands a better chance MIL will be accepting of the new woman in the family.  I personally could do without my MIL's snipes (she sees them as witty), but you know, she was like that long before I came along, so that is not going to change now.

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