I only like the other in-laws in my husband's family.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems to be generally assumed on here that everyone dislikes their in-laws. I have a very close relationship with mine, love our family vacations, and can't imagine being in a disagreement with them. Also, is it mostly women who hate their in-laws or men too?

It's been asked a million times here. Many people do like their ILs, but it's those who don't, are looking for support online. I can't imagine you feel the need to create many threads declaring your love to ILs.

+1

Be grateful if your ILs have something in common with you, or are at least warm, loving and open to new members. Sometimes it has to do with gender. I think most negative feelings are between MIL and DIL because either these things are absent; or as a poster on another thread mentioned, there is often unconscious competition felt by MIL. In other words, if DH chooses a woman totally different from MIL, MIL sees that as a personal affront. I know mine does. It's best to stay out of her path. She is bitter, and only getting worse with age.

My personal feeling is that the MIL has a certain responsibility to reach out a bit, if she wants anyone to see her as the "matriarch" (mine does, which again, makes it difficult - they are not the Kennedys).

If there is nothing in common - for example, a thin, tall, girly, bubbly personality comes into a family of gnome-like, butch frumps - just an example, of course. Well, the larger group is going to feel friction, and won't be very open. Just saying.

These are examples that may give you perspective. I fully expect nasty MILs to step forward in response. But if a MIL is happy in their own lives (educated, accomplished, just plain happy), and mostly has been, then it stands a better chance MIL will be accepting of the new woman in the family. I personally could do without my MIL's snipes (she sees them as witty), but you know, she was like that long before I came along, so that is not going to change now.

Anonymous wrote:I like my in-laws more than my own parents.

Me too! -OP

Anonymous wrote:We all get along perfectly fine and have never had an argument. I'm not BFFs with my in laws and I rarely call them, but I do make my DH call his parents, they get nice thoughtful gifts and we travel to see them frequently.

This is me too. DH's step-father (married after DH was an adult) is a real piece of work though, but he makes his mom happy for some reason so I deal with it. My DH is closer with my parents (particularly my mom ) than I am with his, but I think that is more a function of personality because my mom is one of those capital M moms that people respond to in a really maternal way.

Anonymous wrote:Mine are great. They have their little things that I find odd, of course, but I think that is the case with any family. When I stay with friends, I find some of their habits odd, too, and I can't imagine how weird people find my family.

+1 -- and they adore our kids -- gotta love 'em for that!

I love my ex-in-laws. Wish they would adopt me. Current in-laws (and my own family) are crazy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love my in-laws. I would not have married into a family that I couldn't love and/or wouldn't accept and love me.

Ha! You were just lucky to fall in love with someone and click with their family.

Very lucky.

No, that's actually not out of the norm.

I like my in-laws more than my own parents.

Anonymous wrote:I like mine but I don't want them to live with me.

This!

I like mine, but my kids adore them. My FIL is quite quirky and annoys most of the family, but he gets along really well with my boys and always has been a great grandfather. He really helps DH with projects too.

Anonymous wrote:I love my in-laws. I would not have married into a family that I couldn't love and/or wouldn't accept and love me.

Ha! You were just lucky to fall in love with someone and click with their family.

Very lucky.

I like mine way more after reading all the crazy shit on here that other people's in-laws do...

Mine are pretty great

I like mine but I don't want them to live with me.

My in laws are wonderful.

Anonymous wrote:Mine have their issues, like all humans, but they are like family to me. I treat them with love and respect and live with their foibles, as they do mine. I don't get people who see "in law" as a dirty word. I hope that my children choose partners who embrace the idea of a strong in law relationship.

The relationship must go both ways..