Reply to Mom doesn't know words "I'm sorry". Anyone else relate?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Mom doesn't know words "I'm sorry". Anyone else relate?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Where are you in your life, OP?  Are you a mother yet?  [b]I felt a lot like this before I became a mother.  After I became a mother I began to realize that not everything my mother did was a concerted effort to be a bad mother. [/b] It was more a shoot-from-the-hip, doing the best she could kind of set up.  Everyone is an imperfect mother.  I'd like to mother my kids perfectly.  I can't.  I'd hate my little dramas to be held over my head.  We all do the best we could.  You're in therapy.  Everything seems very intense right now.  Let it go.[/quote]

NP here. I experienced a lot of this - abuse, scapegoating, pretending everything is just fine in la la land - and had trouble processing it. I've been to many therapists but things crystallized (and came to an explosive head) just before I became a mother.[b] In the months and now years after I first gave birth, I became even angrier that a parent could treat their own child this way.[/b] Some things are the era, or them "doing the best they can" (a phrase I hate because I feel like it makes excuses), and some things are inexcusable. I now have very limited contact with my mother and conversations are superficial. I hate it, but she refuses to deal in reality. [/quote]

This was my experience, too.  I could never, ever treat my child the way I was treated.  Having a child has made me even more aware of how awful she is/was.  What possible excuse is there for looking at a child whose heart is breaking and making them feel even worse?  Limited contact for sure.
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics