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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here- thanks for the replies. I asked her a while ago and just talked to her again and she said, "I so wish I could be there!"- like she was SO concerned for me- and I wanted to say- you COULD- the volunteer thing is a writing group that SHE organizes and controls the schedule for. She is always talking about how busy she is- hosting dinners and company- and just doesn't have any time to visit but says she wants to see us more. I think it is her attitude that is bothering me- call a spade a spade- you COULD come but your social life is way more important to you. I know I should be glad that she even says she cares- and to the snarky poster- I am looking into hiring someone for the time I need help- I just wanted to believe that it is family you can count on- because you can be sure if someone in my family needed me and I was in her position I would drop everything and do what I could. [/quote]

So, her volunteer obligation is something that she is in charge of and others rely on her for?  Maybe she really does wish she could be there, but she takes the promises that she makes to other people seriously.  The social life that your dismiss is her friends and local support system.

I understand your frustration and hurt, but expecting other people to blow off their obligations for your convenience is a tall order.  It's important, but not an emergency.  [/quote]

This...This...This...
Perhaps you are just hormonal and feeling overwhelmed and looking for mom to soothe that. I get that. While we are not a military family(and thank you for your familie's service), my DH travels a lot for work. Both my mom and MIL help out a lot. However, my DH is about to be gone for 2 weeks and neither is available to help. They are grown, retired but BUSY women.   If your mom is like them,  they spent their youth raising a family and working  hard and now they in the season of their lives when they are able to participate and work on the things that give them pleasure and purpose. I cannot dismiss or belittle that due to my personal needs. Think about it, it's not a medical emergency and if you are not having a breakdown, consider cutting your mom a break. Maybe you could ask again if she could spare a few days around the actual birth. If not, try to move, not hold a grudge and actually be ok about it.
Best of luck![/quote]

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