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[quote=Anonymous]We have the same type of relationship with my in-laws.  They take three expensive vacations a year but come to visit us maybe once or twice usually for less than 24 hours a trip, and then complain about how we never visit them.  When we do visit them, the entire trip is full of child-unfriendly activities, plans, and meal times.  We're also in the same boat in that it's way more expensive for us to visit (especially since the trip is a little too long to drive with two small kids, but relatively easily drivable if it's just two adults - even more so if you drive like a speed demon like FIL, which we do not).  My husband recently had the exact conversation with his dad that you had with your in-laws and it did NOT go over well either.  I don't have a solution but have lots of sympathy.  FIL is not my favorite person but I really don't want to deprive my children of a grandparent, especially since they have already lost one.  The best I have been able to come up with is inviting them down a LOT (which at least puts the onus on them to say no - then they can't complain we don't invite them) and trying to make one trip up a year.  The first few were a disaster, but now I've started having my DH just TELL his dad what we need/are going to do.  Dinner will need to be around 6 - not 3 PM not 9 PM if you want the kids to join.  If you want to have an adult meal, we need to feed the kids around 6 PM and then put them to bed and can eat after they go to bed, etc.  It's annoying and FIL sometimes shows his displeasure, but they usually comply - and I try to pick my battles (ie: go to boring museums and let the kids run in the courtyard while they look around but put my foot down about going out to long fancy meals where I know we are just setting ourselves up for disaster).[/quote]

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