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[quote=Anonymous]My family is like this. I used precious vacation time to visit when ds was younger and it blew.

Once ds turned three, I decided holidays at home only. Period. They are welcome to come, but I am not hauling christmas crap out to CA and back.

When we visit, we stay in a hotel and rent our own car. I send a list of specific places and things we want to do before the trip and invite them to come along.  I give in to them on where they want to eat, within reason.  My parent s often don't join us  on the kid events, and that's fine.  But there is no way I would agree to a modern art museum or anything along those lines with a kid under two.  Unless grandparents grandparents are willing to shoulder the responsibility of carrying, hauling, etc (my in laws are great about this so for them I would (.

Finally, once my DS turned 4, I had a conversation with my mother basically saying it was killing us to have to spend vacation time and money on traveling to see them (they have never visited us in 7 years in DC).  She agreed to pay for ds' airfare and she now covers pretty much all meals we have together.  Dh and I feel thats a fair compromise.  She will pay for #2's plane ticket when it comes to that.  Separate rental car and hotel rooms are for my sanity so we pay for that.  Along with adult airfare  [/quote]

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