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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. 
I totally get being a phase of not wanting to have sex as much as usual. We all go through that but all the freakin time?
I don't even think he pleasures himself which makes me worry about his health. 
Isn't sexual release an important bodily function?[/quote]

It's the drugs and alcohol.  Can he substain and you can see if it improves?  My husband almost always chooses alcohol over sex with me and I'm used to it.  I don't fight it anymore.  [/quote]

He definitely chooses that over me too it feels like. Especially since the same time we'd be having sex is after kids in bed and he's already drinking. 
Are you just going to accept it? It's starting to feel like a deal breaker for me. 
[/quote]

I won't leave him and I'm happily maried.  However, I get extremely frustrated at times over it.  I really enjoy sex and would like it at least 2-3 x a week. We are prob having it 4 times a month and that's mostly due to his drinking.

I've felt the same way you do and know what you're going through.  It's really sad.  It makes me lonely at times as I want that connection with my spouse.  [/quote]

I would love to have it at least 4 times a month! I feel starved for affection!  I am happy about other things in our relationship but I am so frustrated too. 
I wonder if I asked him about having something on the side would be unrealistic at this point if we stayed together. 
I feel like he may even be relieved....
. [/quote]

I think you need to make it clear that you need and desire sex.  How important it is to you and is non-negotiable.  [/quote]

Op here,
I've made it clear how I want and need it but it just never manifests itself. I get sick of talking about it and just give up.

[b]In terms of how much, I would say 2-3 beers + 2-3 hard liquor drinks per night. Marijuana is everyday. [/b]

[/quote]
That's problematic. This is not a healthy consumption. Start with that. Have you ever told him you're concerned about both the frequency and the amount he consumes? How long can he go without having to drink or smoke pot?[/quote]

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