Reply to best and most compassionate way to let a hot mess of a friend go

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Dear Larla, 
Friendships come and go and I feel that is happening with us these days. I am genuinely concerned for you and I think seeing a counselor may help you with sorting through some of your feelings. If you won't do it for you, do it for Johnny who needs his mom to be as healthy as she can be, because there is no one else to care for him.

You are absolutely correct that no one knows exactly what you have been through or how you feel. Everyone has rough times in life, but it is not a contest; what is rough to you is the worst for you and what is rough to someone else is the worst for them. There is no winner. I'm sorry things have been so rough for you as a single mom by choice. I honestly don't know what I would do, but I wish you the best.

Take care, 
Marla[/quote]

OP here. THat is pretty darn good. I was just thinking that my operative question is:

Will indicating to her that I can see she needs help expedite or delay her internal process of making the decision to seek that help?

I had to give my husband an ultimatum before he would acknowledge the seriousness of what he was doing. I said seek treatment and I will stand by you.

[b]I am not looking to save this relationship. I dont care what she thinks of me. [/b]There is only thing that actually matters here, and that is that there is an 8 year old boy looking at a terrible life if his mom loses it. And as tough as she is in some ways (she went through some ER experiences recently that were pretty challenging) everyone has a breaking point.

All that matters to me is can her breaking point be prevented, and if so, how can I best help that?

Im concerned that doing or saying ANYthing could set her back. But on the other hand, sending a responsible message such as "I am really seeing signs of a nervous breakdown, or depression. For Johnny's sake, please seek help." can't really be wrong.

PP, this letter idea is appealing to me. Ive sent her a letter in the past that she ignored (reaching out after she stopped making contact) or even acknowledged. But a letter would allow me to say what needs to be said without even dealing with talking to her directly anymore. And she could process it however she processes it, but in the end, the words would be true.[/quote]

There is your answer - you don't care so just don't call or answer the phone. Let it die. She doesn't like you either obviously...it's not your problem.[/quote]

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