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[quote=Anonymous]I had a friend like this, OP.  I catered and tried to help.  You know what was the final irony?  She blew ME off.  After YEARS of me trying to deal with Ms. High-Maintenance, she blew me off.  Sounds like maybe you are getting to that place.

From what you describe, your friend is not open to feedback.  It is not passive-aggressive to let something fade away if you already know the direct route won't work.  Your goal is to extricate yourself, and bottom line is we're all human here, so if it's not done perfectly, it's ok.

I say this because I had another friend who was a frienemy that I really knew I had to get out of my life.  I felt like I needed to be a straight shooter and give her a chance and tell her what I was thinking.  I tried dipping my toe in that pond and got it bitten off.  So my next tactic was to try to let it fade away.  She wouldn't let it.  But it was really getting toxic.  Still, I stalled, because I felt I had to do something in person or at least over the phone.

Meanwhile my DH had to hear all about it.  Really this stuff just takes you away from, and strains, what's important in life, which is your family and healthy relationships.

Finally, when Thanksgiving came around and I realized that before Thanksgiving TWO YEARS PRIOR, I had determined that this person should be out of my life, I decided that I needed to cut it and even though I would be looked at as a coward, the only way I could do it was via email.  So I emailed her, telling her I needed to take a break for a while.  In truth, at the time I thought I would probably revisit our friendship, but after she was finally out of my life, I knew that this was the healthier place for me to be.   I still think about her, love her, and miss the things about her that made her an important person in my life.  But I never regret what I did.  There is a great expression:  Don't make the Perfect the enemy of the Good.

So how I did this was not perfect, but it was better than not getting it done at all.
Good luck, OP![/quote]

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