Reply to Obligated to have visits with not nice in-laws when there is a new baby?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Obligated to have visits with not nice in-laws when there is a new baby?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]NP here. My MIL is wonderful and my FIL difficult but still generally a great person who I'm happy to spend some time with. We also have a big house and are happy to have the ILs stay with us, and in turn we stay with them when we visit. All this background to say that I'm probably the outlier of this particular thread.

However, I'm going to say that none of this stuff, from refusing to change diapers to silent treatment for a couple months, immature as it may be, sounds like a big deal to me. My ILs have their foibles, and my own family definitely does. My FIL and my aunt (who I'm very close with) have both announced in the past that they don't change diapers. Fine. They don't change diapers. Likewise, neither of them would be comfortable watching the baby for a few minutes. (FIL is disabled and doesn't move around well; aunt never had kids and just doesn't really like babies that much.) ILs got pissy with us one year when we missed a family reunion due to a prior commitment and it took a while before we stopped hearing about it. My own mother volunteered my house for a family get-together earlier this year and forgot to check with me first. None of this is a big deal. Everyone is different and they have their ways and I deal with them, and let them stay with me, because I love them and they are family. The important thing to me is that DD really loves them, and they her, and they all love spending time together.

So, OP, I have a different take on this one. Don't invite MIL on vacation, that's completely reasonable. But I would consider whether you and many of these PPs are engaged in subconscious turf wars that you might be able to cede some ground on in the interest of the grandma/son relationship. You're the wife. You already won. Be gracious in victory, let grandma spent time with grandson, and ignore her issues. Everyone has them. It's just a question of whether you let them get to you. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics