Reply to Married to recovering alcoholic... Help!

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Married to recovering alcoholic... Help!"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]First of all, you already know this, but you need to get into Al-Anon or individual counselling, aside from his recovery.

A great deal of relationships with addicts / recovering addicts do not survive. There's a lot of factors, but obviously issues with trust, co-dependence and relationship foundations are key.

Programs (even ones like AA) do have a component about looking at relationships. That being said, it's possible that your husband isn't there yet. He may have other, deeper issues like past child abuse or self esteem issues that he needs to work on first before he can honestly look at relationships. There is no hard and fast timeline for recovery, not are "the steps" necessarily predictable in how they will flow. He may see that you are disappointed that your relationship started with fun and lots of wine - and not be quite ready to reshape that yet.

Does that mean you have to stick it out? Heck no. This is your life path, and you have just as much right to happiness and recovery as he does. But he is in a place right now that means his sobriety is more important to him than anything. Rightly or wrongly.

And this is where I'll refer you to sentence #1. It's not fair. He hurt you. But you need to get over it, get on with it, and find yourself some help too.

As you seem to be forum friendly (making that assumption as you're here :) ), Sites like soberrecovery.com have great family sections. You can also read the other forums to help you understand what's going on with your husband and his thought processes.

Good luck. You've been through a hard road, and I'm sorry to tell you, there is a hard road for both of you to healing. It's not impossible. It's worth it. But it needs to be a conscious decision, and you need to look out for yourself. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics