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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Oh, I am no doubt not very nice.  But I am also being very honest.  That would be a deal breaker for me.  I wouldn't be able to get over it easily.  I would be furious.  And I would be the one scrambling around for the fix after having expressed my extreme concern to my husband about his mother's ability to fulfill this role.  So, yup, call me all the names you want.  If you have the ability to be gracious while transitioning back to work FT with your childcare situation in flux and never having dealt with childcare issues before, you are better moms than I.  [/quote]

I hope you realize that your behavior is a rather exteme case of anti-social behavior.  Your MIL was going to provide you with free childcare (even if it was only part-time), found she was over her head and wasn't up to the commitment.  Your reaction is furious, and you would hold a grudge indefinitely and be completely unforgiving.

While you can do whatever you want, you really should refrain from giving advice because your reactions is both inappropriately over-the-top and very destructive to family harmony.  I would never recommend or condone any reaction like yours.

And for the record, I had a similar issue.  We had our twins in daycare for just over a year and decided to get a nanny.  We spent several months advertising, interviewing, having test sitting sessions and finally selected a nanny.  We wrote up a contract, did a background check, signed the contract, canceled our daycare, and on the first morning she was scheduled to arrive, she never showed up for work.  It took me several hours to track her down and she came up with a story about having a fight with her boyfriend, moving out of their apartment, having her car break down, etc.  I asked her to call (we did everything via text and email) and we could talk about her situation, and see if we could make alternative arrangements, including me coming giving her rides to and from the Metro station, but she never called.  We then had to scramble and get alternative care.  We were fortunate that we had priority in our old daycare and were able to get them back in the following week, so we each took 2-3 days off to watch them until they returned to daycare.  I was upset with her for a couple of days and then thankful that we had dodged a bullet.  I was glad to find out before an incident happened that she was unreliable and would not have been a safe childcare choice for my children.

I can understand that you'd be furious and rightfully so.  The part that is unreasonable is that you wouldn't be able to get over it and would hold a grudge, against your own mother-in-law and the grandmother of your children.  A normal reaction is to be upset and to get over it in due course, which for some would be days, for other could be weeks, but to ultimately get over it, forgive and move on.[/quote]

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