Reply to disliking in-laws who aren't all that dislike-able

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I just want to say how refreshing you are, OP!  It's not often on this site that people acknowledge their part of an issue.  I think your self-awareness and desire to make changes will serve you well!  Hugs![/quote]

12:39 again.  I forgot to add that I'm in a similar position with my ILs.  I focus on allowing myself to not be responsible - that is, my DH is responsible for his relationship with his parents, I'm not responsible for them having a good time, being entertained, getting their preferred food, etc.  I offer suggestions to my DH and am always civil/polite/respectful but I don't take any ownership of their visit.  It's helped my sanity tremendously.[/quote]
I understand that your DH is responsible for his relationship with them, but why would you not want to take any ownership for visitors in your home, visitors to whom you are related? My own  mom can peeve me, but I still want to be sure that she has a good time when she visits. No, that doesn't mean breaking my back or going to extreme lengths, but still...
Do you not want to have more than a polite relationship with your IL'S or is that impossible for some reason?[/quote]

No, I'm not interested in having more than a polite relationship with my ILs.  I have no emotional connection with them and feel no need to attempt to force those feelings or to develop them.  Perhaps that might change in the future but given who they are, at a minimum, I will continue to maintain boundaries.  If DH asks for assistance or would like me to do something, I'm happy to help him but I'm not responsible for their visit just as DH is not responsible for my family's visit.  I recognize others have a different approach but this arrangement works best for us.  [/quote]

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