Reply to one sibling opposed to assisted living for elderly parent

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[quote=Anonymous]Faraway sibling should not be tested by challenging that he take dad in. He is obviously only thinking about his inheritance and would likely be a terrible, negligent, and cruel "caregiver".  Don't give him the chance. Have you guys directly called him out yet? Have you said, "Joe, it seems to us that your priority is preserving the wealth that dad has accumulated rather than prioritizing his health and comfort. Do you see how abhorrent that is? Please focus on dad."

Sibling has obviously been counting on his inheritance as his way of financial planning. Be wary. He will likely do whatever he needs to to protect his "investment" including stealthily getting POA and making the decisions without you.  You say dad is still mentally strong (but doesn't communicate well). I think you and other good sibling need to come up with a plan for assisted living, present it to your dad and get him the approve it. Warn dad that Joe is opposed and may try and get dad to change his mind but offer reasons why dad should stick to his plan for assisted living (try not to disparage Joe about his greediness, but rather remind dad that Joe isn't around and doesn't fully grasp the situation).[/quote]

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