Reply to Unsafe college campuses

Forum Index » Off-Topic

Reply to "Unsafe college campuses"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am stunned we have all these rapes on college campuses by STUDENTS. Who are these boys? [b]Are they my son's friends? Are they normal kids[/b] or are they mentally ill? [b]Do regular, well adjusted boys rape people? [/b]If so, what happened to our society? Why do so many [b]boy college students apparently think it's ok to assault their classmates[/b]?

Talk to your sons! Make sure you haven't raised an animal who has no respect for women.
Honestly, this whole epidemic makes me sick. [b]Does our ultra-sexual culture and misogynist images create a "rape culture?"[/b]
Can anyone shed light on what's happening?[/quote]

Yes. [/quote]

When I was in college I was sexually assaulted by a nice, normal, well-adjusted boy. He (and every other boy I hung out with those days) was so thoroughly indoctrinated in rape culture that he didn't pay attention to the fact that I was too drunk to consent or verbalize to him that I didn't want any sexual contact. Had he actually asked me "is this okay?" or cared about the fact that I was borderline unconscious, he would have gotten the clue. Instead, we both had to deal with the implications of that night for close to a year. It was awful. [/quote]

What culture do you have to be indoctrinated in to think you can get wasted and not make bad decisions or be taken advantage of?

Both boys and girls need to be educated on responsible behavior.  [/quote]

I'm the PP you're trying to bash, I assume. Unfortunately for you, there is no "get drunk and make bad decisions" culture. In hindsight I obviously recognized that I should not have been so drunk that night, but there is NO excuse for what happened to me. I should have been able to drink and have a fun night with my friends without worrying about someone taking advantage of me while I was in that state. [/quote]

NP.. PP, while I agree with you in principle, unfortunately, we don't live in a perfect world.  I should be free to walk around any street in this country without having to fear for my safety...but sadly, that is not the case.   Absolutely, as parents we should talk to our kids (boys and girls) about rape and consent, but this is not going to completely stop rapes.  Just like I (and most of us here) avoid certain parts of a city, it would be safer for everyone if people didn't get so trashed that they are out of control. This won't stop rapes completely, either, but it may reduce some of the rapes, especially the "too drunk to consent" ones.

Let me make clear.. I am not saying you asked for it, or it was your fault.  It was a terrible thing that happened to you, but it is a situation that can be controlled to some degree by not getting trashed.  When people get really drunk, there is a tendency to make bad decisions.[/quote]

The problem with your argument is that it places all the responsibility on girls to act appropriately. Where is the expectation that boys act appropriately?! Your analogy about walking the streets safely forgets about the fact that in this scenario the PP was not with strangers, but rather with someone whom she trusted and thought was a friend. So "avoiding parts of the city" is not the answer to not being assaulted in the presence of someone you trusted. It's completely different and a poor choice in trying to make your point. It is not too much to ask that boys be expected to act like human beings.

Also, you claim that you do not believe PP deserved what happened to her (and for your children's sake I hope you believe that…), but by suggesting that because she was trashed she simply has to live with the consequences is another way to throw her (and all girls) under the bus. If your son was assaulted by friends - beaten up and robbed - would you tell him to suck it up and live with the consequences? No - you would be outraged because trusted friends took advantage of him while he was in an altered state and he couldn't do anything to stop them. Why is it any different for a girl being raped? Something strange happens in this society when it comes to intercourse…we can think we are past certain taboos, but we still have a long way to go.

Don't get me wrong - I have been telling my DD that she doesn't want to be the drunk girl at the party and that she needs to protect herself. Those are simply common-sense ideas (and maybe that's what you're getting at…), but at the same time I tell her brother that he has to behave properly also. The bottom line is that when alcohol is in the picture sex is out the window…it may be simplistic, but I need my son to know that a girl cannot consent to sex when she has been drinking. 
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics