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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We too are educating our boys that "no means no" but my concern is that a regret is being recast as a rape later.  Rape is violent.  [/quote]

You are so, so wrong. It's not necessarily violent. It is unwanted sexual contact (or the threat of sexual contact) of any sort. That includes when someone is too intoxicated to legally consent, or when someone is pressured in to sexual contact. "No means no" is not enough. If we teach our children that when they hear no they need to stop, that leaves them thinking that as long as they don't hear "no" they have a green light, which could not be further from the truth.

We need to be teaching our children about active consent - teaching them to actively and specifically ask their partners "is this okay?" "do you want to do this?" etc. and then listen for a "yes". THAT constitutes consent. Little Jimmy telling Betty that he'll break up with her if she doesn't sleep with him, or climbing in to her bed at college when she's drunk, and then assuming it's okay because she isn't screaming and fighting him off, is NOT consent. It's sexual assault. [/quote]

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