Reply to Estranged Father now a Grandfather

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Frequently, bad parents turn out to be phenomenal grandparents.  Let him know and see what happens.[/quote]

But wouldn't you think that would make you feel even worse - to know that your father deliberately missed everything with you and then miraculously became wonderful when you were grown?  I'd be heartbroken.[/quote]

NP here.  My FIL was a pretty lousy dad by most reports...he and MIL didn't divorce till DH was in HS, but he was a workaholic and really focused on the genius talent of one of the four kids, almost ignoring the other 3.  When my DSD was born 20 years ago, he was a pretty absent grandfather too, but he was still working then and a workaholic.  Now, we have a toddler and he's an incredibly loving grandfather.  He retired, mellowed, his priorities changed, etc.  DH is sometimes very angry and bitter about it, esp. for his daughter, since he's a much better grandfather to our son.  But people do sometimes grow and change in good ways, so allowing the chance for more love in the world for your child is a risk worth taking, I think.[/quote]

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