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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your father is using his anxiety and grief to control all of you.  How long do you intend to drive 300 miles every week because he can't stand to be alone?  The rest of your life?  How long do you intend to live in a mausoleum/hoard/dump because the notion of throwing away a sponge is upsetting?

Can you see that this is crazy?  Time for a family meeting in which you draw boundaries.  It's not cruel to say that Dad needs to start learning to live his life as an adult.  If he is so prostrate with grief he can't be alone, he either (1) moves (2) checks into a hospital (3) sees a therapist.[/quote]

+1  He's going to hold all of you hostage here if he isn't already. A big sign that things aren't working out is filth. Watch one of the shows about hoarding. Often times the hoarder has an enabler who just wallows in the mess with them. sounds like that's the role your sister has taken up here. He needs help and your sister probably needs help as well it sounds like. If they get sick from the filth things will just get worse for all of you. [/quote]

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