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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your father is using his anxiety and grief to control all of you.  How long do you intend to drive 300 miles every week because he can't stand to be alone?  The rest of your life?  How long do you intend to live in a mausoleum/hoard/dump because the notion of throwing away a sponge is upsetting?

Can you see that this is crazy?  Time for a family meeting in which you draw boundaries.  It's not cruel to say that Dad needs to start learning to live his life as an adult.  If he is so prostrate with grief he can't be alone, he either (1) moves (2) checks into a hospital (3) sees a therapist.[/quote]

This.  All of this. These arrangements don't seem workable for any and all.

I'd look into a visiting angel program...a companion sitter who'll provide companionship and light housekeeping.  Your dad is going to need to move on a bit in his grief.  You can't be expected to fill your moms role and be there 24-7.  Formulate a plan where you visit less often and tell your dad as you supportively tell him you have a companionship plan in place.[/quote]

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