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[quote=Anonymous]OP, it sounds like there is one particular, pushy girl who really wants to swim a lot and is quite rude about it.

It also sounds like that girls mother isn't very socially clueless, either.

Seems like you have started the expectation that it is OK for kids to call up and invite themselves over for a swim.   I'm sure you meant, kids who could ask politely, and who could take no for an answer!   That apparently doesn't describe this particular girl AT ALL.

I would announce as mom (dad?) that there are new house rules regarding swim time at your house.  From now on, you will tell your daughter what nights and times are open swim at your house.   She can send out a text and anyone who wants to come, may.   (of her preapproved friends, of course!)   If your daughter asks you ahead of time (badgers, etc) you won't allow it that night at all!

That gives your daughter the freedom to say to her pushy friend "I don't know -- my mom hasn't decided yet.  I'll let you know."   It takes the social pressure off of her and puts it on you.

You can say that you have gotten concerned about pool safety/kids thinking they can come by without adults and so on.   Tell your daughter that if she EVER has kids over to the pool without an adult present.... that will be it for friends at the pool!   She knows this of course, but reitierating it in front of the pushy friend would be a good idea.

You can also tell the pushy friend that pnce the girls get their lifeguarding certificate, you may allow them to swim without an adult, because those are insurance rules.[/quote]

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