Reply to People who complain and get offended by EVERYTHING.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It is exhausting. You keep trying to clear the air, to let things go, sometimes air your perspective, other times keep your mouth shut and just listen. But it's like I never get the benefit of the doubt. And this person is doing the same thing with other people too, I'm realizing.

Is there a way to fix this? Is this about maturity? Life experience? Or is it just a personality flaw that we have to accept and move on? What if it is causing strife in other relationships?[/quote]

I'm the one who posted above about my MIL being like this.  I'm not sure I have an answer, it's something we deal with regularly.  I think there's multiple ways you have to approach it.  We try to make sure we're doing right by her, even if she doesn't agree or see it.  That way we know we're not doing anything wrong.  We ignore small comments and occasionally call out bigger ones by pointing out how she's not being fair.  That is usually enough to get her to drop it, though I doubt we're changing how she really feels.  I'm not sure why she's like this exactly, but I have noticed it's not just with us.  She's like this with everyone, at least within the family.  She is never happy with other family members and will gladly tell you why.  I don't participate when she talks badly about others, I don't usually defend either, I just change the subject.

I'm a people pleaser in a lot of ways.  I like to make people happy, especially when it's usually pretty easy to do.  I would LOVE to be able to make her happy, even if it's not all the time.  I wish I had some sure fire way of knowing she'd really like something.  But every single time I've tried, it's blown up in my face.  Or she manages to gloss over the good things and focus on the one tiny part that didn't go her way, and make it all about that.  I now focus my energy on accepting that she will not be changing.  I don't think she can change.  So I work on having a thicker skin and not letting her little barbs bother me.  Eventually maybe this will lead to me calling out her bad behavior, but I'm not there yet and neither is my husband.  I'm not a doormat, but I've stopped caring so much if she's happy, bc I'm learning: she is never happy.  That's her choice.

To me, it sounds like a miserable way to live.  Good luck OP, people like this aren't easy.[/quote]

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