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[quote=Anonymous]My parents are a lot like your in laws.  I handle it by not bringing up the equivalent of your BIL.  When they bring up the subject, they quickly change the subject because I engage honestly and neutrally.  I will use your situation to demonstrate how I handle these interactions.

OP:  How about those Nats?
MIL:  OP, Son, did you know that BIL has a new girlfriend?  I think it's great, don't you?  I am so hopeful because it is so normal to have a girlfriend.  Isn't it great?
OP: No, it's not great.  The girlfriend is mentally ill like BIL and has been stripped of custody of her children.  Generally, that is not a good sign of stability or that one has the makings of a stable and positive romantic partner.  
MIL:  Oh.  Well I just meant that he was so improved when we went out to visit...
OP:  I don't share your opinion.  He posts videos on Facebook that are rambling and threatening.  He appears glassy eyed and dissheveled.  Each one is worse than the last.  
MIL:  Well.  All he really needs is to find a job that he feels passionate about and then everything will turn around.  
OP:  He is receiving SSDI.  He won't be getting a job anytime soon.  He has a lot to work on before he would able to begin even looking for a job.  And then it won't be the kind of job that is going to turn anyone's life around.  What you see now is likely the best of the rest of his life.  
MIL:  You're very negative.  I try to be positive and I guess you don't.
OP:  I am realistic.  It doesn't serve anyone to pretend that trouble doesn't exist like you do.
MIL:  How about those Nats?[/quote]

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