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[quote=Anonymous]OP here - this is all very interesting.  For those with good relationships, how did discipline work?  My three-year old simply doesn't listen a lot of times and I tend to be more of a traditional disciplinarian (e.g., stern voice, consistent time outs after a warning, not allowing treats if she is acting poorly).  But this makes me feel like a warden - yet I know I need to enforce rules.  It's so confusing!

Oddly, I don't think my parents' disciplinary style was problematic for our relationship.  I was spanked and many times harshly spoken to when I did very bad things, but I don't think that was traumatizing.  What was very harmful was being told how I didn't measure up to my gifted sister and being forced to try to emulate her gifts, which I never could do.  My parents were basically either ignoring me or telling me how I was not good enough.  When I left for college, they didn't call or write for months.  I think that's an easy problem to avoid repeating.  But in the back of my mind I wonder if my method of discipline is a path to distance in the future.

I do need to work on patience.  That can be tough![/quote]

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