Reply to Mentally ill estranged family member - how much should I be worried?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
You are really doing more harm than good. Actually, you're doing 100% harm and 0% good.

Why would your FIL's paranoia translate into aggressive behavior towards your son?

If FIL has no history of physical or verbal aggression towards his son and you, there is just the same risk he would attack you as any stranger off the street would. Which is to say, extremely low.

Do you understand this simple fact?

[/quote]

yes, I do. Jeez. I am just asking.

Who am I harming exactly? He has a minor history of verbal aggression against his boys when they were young (again, they haven't seen him since they were pre-teens) and I know one time he was really rough with DH's brother. This was all pretty close to the divorce/

The only (I ADMIT UNLIKELY) scenario I could ever see is if he just showed up one day. He did this to DH aunt when he moved to his current state about 6 years ago from the state DH grew up in. If I were alone I wouldn't feel comfy letting him in to my home with just me and DS. I wouldn't let any stranger in my home if it were just me and the baby, so  I don't think that's so overly cautious. All intents and purposes, he is a stranger to me and DH. I just would be worried in that scenario that he could read that as a slight or as an act of aggression/ provocation, which is pretty much what all the abstracts/studies I have been able to do with a quick google search is the antecedent for violent tendencies with those who have PPD or similar. I know that  such diagnoses DO NOT mean a person is violent or more violent.

That's seriously the only scenario I could be worried about.

Please stop trying to paint me with some brush of "OP is a bitch who wishes her DH father would just go away and has prejudice against mental illness" just so you can be antagonistic online.

Its not the case. I just wanted someplace to get these thoughts and get feedback- and I appreciate those who are giving it without working out whatever they are projecting on to me.[/quote]

I'm PP you quoted.

You are wasting your time and energy on this non-issue, because the person in question has not exhibited violent behavior towards you or anyone else (minor verbal aggression? I don't think you realize what aggression really means!).
You can be worried FOR your FIL, who might run his mouth off to the wrong person and endanger himself. 
You shouldn't be worried for you.

My perspective - I have quirky or mentally ill family members and in-laws, none of which are violent. While I do not have a psych degree (actually I'm a research scientist), I have enough common sense to separate different kinds of quirky behaviors and not freak out over every one.

Methinks first-time mother hormones are getting to you. Calm down and get on with your life. If ever FIL comes, don't open the door.

[/quote]

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