Reply to If you have family that regularly helps you with childcare, do you reciprocate?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When I regularly babysat for my brother's kids, [b]I was paid back in love[/b], and home cooked meals.  A great deal for me.[/quote]

Honest question -- what does it mean to get "paid back in love?" What does this look like? [/quote]

Because I got to spend so much quality time with them when they were little, I was able to form a very close bond with my niece and nephew.  Now they are teens, they will text me and ask me for advice.  They offer to babysit for my young kids, who adore them.  I feel so lucky to have this relationship with them, which I don't think I would have without all those babysitting opportunities.[/quote]

+1.  This is how my family works.  I'd watch my nieces and nephews without a single thought of "payback" in any tangible form.  I adore them, and I feel lucky to be in their lives.  My siblings would watch my baby with the same attitude.  We do it because we genuinely love AND like each other.  No one takes advantage of anyone else and none of us use guilt as a weapon.  The payback is having great relationships with the kids as they grow.

My in-laws on the other hand...[/quote]

That's awesome that you both watch each others' kids and help each other out - that's the way it should be - a natural reciprocation. But a lot of families will use the concept of "oh you get to have a close relationship with niece/nephew/grandchildren/etc" as a guilt maneuver. That's great and all, but one needn't provide regular help all the time to have a close relationship. If you don't have the guilt tripping going on, then you're very lucky. Unfortunately, some of us have families that use similar concepts as a kind of manipulative guilt-tripping. [/quote]

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