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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why did your mom have to pursue child support?  If your dad is so blameless, why didn't he support you voluntarily?  PP, you are messed up. [/quote]

My mom made more than my dad did (she had a college degree; he didn't) so it wasn't automatically granted. And my dad did pay the rent, and possibly some other bills. Also, we could have lived in a better neighborhood where housing was just as cheap, but she wanted to live near her family in the city. I don't think my dad is blameless, but he apologized numerous times, he never blamed my mom, and she always blamed him. She still rails on and on about him. It's part of her martyrdom. Too bad she needed us to witness her suffering. I think that she felt more satisfaction in what she saw as our degradation at his hands than she did in leaving the ghetto when we were finally grown.[/quote]

I know others are giving you a hard time but I understand completely.  My father also had an affair and my mom kicked him out also.  My father was wrong for what he did and has admitted it and apologized several times - to us and our mother.  He did not end up with his affair partner but he has since remarried a woman who is very good to him and to us and they have one child.  Folks are not going to believe this, but he actually was a better father after the divorce. More engaged.

My mother on the other hand wallowed in the victimhood of it.  Trashed my dad at every opportunity and NEVER attempted to move on with her life. She would made decisions about us in such a way as to spite my dad and make him look bad - he offered to pay for summer camps for us and she refused to let us go - refused to let us go on vacation with our dad when we had no other plans - making us return things he had bought us. Like you PP. she wanted us to hate him as much as she did.  In my case, my father attempted to be a father to us and give us everything that our half-sibling had, but my mother always attempted to use us against him. At the end of the day, she probably needed counseling, but this was in a time where it was not as accepted as it is today.   My siblings and I were talking about this a short time ago.  We never questioned our father's love for us because he constantly battled my mother to be in our lives - more than most men would. [/quote]

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