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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have family members with bipolar. This is what I have learned. I don't take responsibility for their happiness or  well-being. I am not responsible for making sure they have the car they want or that they are 100% fulfilled or not frustrated or angry. I am not responsible for making sure they stay employed. I am not responsible for making sure that they stay in school. I am not responsible for making sure they take their meds. They are adults. They are responsible for their own well-being. I will not cater to their fantasies or their delusions or their paranoia or their depression.  I will not fight with them.

I will make sure that they have housing and food and aren't on the street. The rest of it is up to them.

If they are off the rails at any given time, I tell them that they are off the rails. If they are not taking their meds, I tell them that they need to take their meds.

I understand that their ability to manage that stuff is limited because of their illness, but *my* ability to manage it is even more limited because I'm not the adult who is in charge of them. They are the adult who is in charge of them. I can't force them to do things.

Let go and let God. [/quote]

+1000  ITA, OP.  I know people in this situation.  They are in the care of the state in a group home.  Which may sound horrible, but it is really not so bad (depending on the system).  They are happy and safe and not lonely.  Most importantly, they take their meds.

In the situation I know about, my friend was not equipped to have the sibling in the house, there are small children to consider.  While they have money, they are not in a position to hire or provide the arrangement and safety a group home provides for them.  WHiel it may sound selfish, they were not ready to give up their lives, and raising their children, for their ill sibling who is grown.

NAMI might have some good resources.  GL in what you decide.

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