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[quote=Anonymous]I'm sure she'll give you flack for this, but when she visits is there any way you can have them stay in a hotel? Or, when you go there, can you stay in a hotel or at someone else's house? That way you don't have to be around them 24/7 during your visit--a lot of times having this breathing room helps.

It sounds like your kids have already formed their opinions of grandma, and if you make them do things for her or be nice to her, they may resent you for it later on in life. Young children are very perceptive! Even at age 5 you can give them a choice of how to interact with her. DD doesn't want to hug grandma? Ok, but she should at least say hello. She doesn't want to talk to grandma because grandma's yelling at her? Then she doesn't have to talk to grandma--I'm sure you wouldn't make her talk to a stranger who was acting the same way. (Not saying you made her talk to grandma--it sounds like you didn't--but just using that as an example.)

And lastly, it's great that DH stands up for you! Sounds like a great guy who loves you and wants to protect you. My DH had to do that for me when we dealt with my mom who is younger but sounds very similar to yours. I've been in your boat sans kids and it was tough, but we stayed our boundaries and things seem to be going well right now (knock on wood).[/quote]

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