Reply to Mom said my SIL is a better daughter than I will ever be.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just walk away, OP. Tell her you only want to speak with her when she's not drunk, and tell her you will not visit her unless she is not drinking.

I would not cut her off completely. She's your mom, OP. She has a problem. Don't feel sorry for her or let her walk all over you, but set the boundaries and stick to them. She'll deal with it if she wants to. If not, then you're protecting yourself.

Sorry, OP. Very disappointing to have such an irresponsible mom. Take care of yourself, and know you do better with your own kids. [/quote]

+1  Although I sympathize with the desire to cut her off from you completely and I would say you deserve that if that's what you need, I would suggest that you make one final effort.

I would wait until she was sober and tell her that she's a very mean person and a poor mother when she is drinking.  Tell her that if she is drinking you'll end those conversations or visits and only talk with her when she is clearly sober.  If she calls drunk you say "Mom, I see you've been drinking again.  I'm not going to put up with your abuse while you're drink.  Call me again when you sober up."  And make that your standard.  Even if you have to drive many hours out to see her, if she's drunk turn around and go home or go to a motel and tell her to call you when she's sober and you can talk about whether to continue the visit or not.  If you only deal with her sober, then she'll have to deal with the alcoholism or know that she cut you out of her life by choosing the drink over you.[/quote]

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