Reply to How long to move on after divorce

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "How long to move on after divorce"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Another man here.
It happened to me. I was married ten years. I've always had a strong emotional intelligence, so I was careful not to move on too soon. I didn't want any residual emotions from my ex-wife's cheating to spill over into the next relationship. I started seeing someone who for all intents and purposes seemed like a much better catch. She was physically more attractive, she stimulated me mentally in ways that my ex-wife never could, and...I felt like I hit the jackpot to say the least.

We waited four months before anything happened. The sex was the best I'd had in my life. The next day I felt horrible. It confused the hell out of me. It didn't spark any desire for my ex-wife whatsoever, but I still had this sinking feeling like I'd cheated or something. It had to be the fact that I was with someone new for the first time in ten years. I tried to make sense of it, but I couldn't. Four months of building up this intimacy and then in one night it was all invalidated. After that, I felt nothing. No love, no bitterness. Just complete apathy towards the relationship.

It was like performance anxiety on an emotional level. I really, really wanted to get those feelings back, but they just weren't coming. It's been a few months and I still feel the same way. The woman has moved on. I couldn't keep her hanging. It didn't seem right. If anything it's spawned more bitterness towards my ex-wife. I can't even move on although I have zero desire for her anymore. Doesn't seem right.

Sorry that I don't have a solution. I say just see if he can open up more. Maybe give him time. It's uncharted territory. If he's open to it, maybe you can walk it together. [/quote]

OP, this is a great post.  And it proves, as if there was doubt, that many men take sex seriously and it does open a lot of emotions, expected and unexpected.  To be with someone a long time and then out into a world of dating where you are meeting women and getting intimate can be confusing and stressful.  Add the fact that is ex is already living with some guy and that is a lot for a person to deal with.

I would give this situation a chance but as often said, don't make a priority out of someone who considers you an option.  Continue developing your social life and if the two of you agree there is a future together, it will happen one way or the other.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics