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[quote=Anonymous]Another man here.
It happened to me. I was married ten years. I've always had a strong emotional intelligence, so I was careful not to move on too soon. I didn't want any residual emotions from my ex-wife's cheating to spill over into the next relationship. I started seeing someone who for all intents and purposes seemed like a much better catch. She was physically more attractive, she stimulated me mentally in ways that my ex-wife never could, and...I felt like I hit the jackpot to say the least.

We waited four months before anything happened. The sex was the best I'd had in my life. The next day I felt horrible. It confused the hell out of me. It didn't spark any desire for my ex-wife whatsoever, but I still had this sinking feeling like I'd cheated or something. It had to be the fact that I was with someone new for the first time in ten years. I tried to make sense of it, but I couldn't. Four months of building up this intimacy and then in one night it was all invalidated. After that, I felt nothing. No love, no bitterness. Just complete apathy towards the relationship.

It was like performance anxiety on an emotional level. I really, really wanted to get those feelings back, but they just weren't coming. It's been a few months and I still feel the same way. The woman has moved on. I couldn't keep her hanging. It didn't seem right. If anything it's spawned more bitterness towards my ex-wife. I can't even move on although I have zero desire for her anymore. Doesn't seem right.

Sorry that I don't have a solution. I say just see if he can open up more. Maybe give him time. It's uncharted territory. If he's open to it, maybe you can walk it together. [/quote]

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