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[quote=Anonymous]OP,

Sorry that your ILs have hurt your feelings.  Unfortunately, you cannot dictate how they behave.  Even if they seem to favor their other grandkids, I don't think there's much you can do to change it.  Just try to let it go.

My kids only have on grandmother b/c my mom passed away many years ago.  It upsets me that they are stuck w/ her as their only 'grandma' but it is what it is.  My MIL is an incredibly selfish person and would never lift a finger to help out.  Example: when DC#1 was first born upon meeting her at 6 weeks announced that she would not change a single diaper.  I was flabbergasted.especially since we had not asked her to do so.  Besides how much pee does a newborn have in her diaper anyway?  Later, when she visited, she refused to hold our DD for 20 minutes so I could go pump.

I just don't go out of my way for my ILs as a result of her behavior.  She recently asked DH when she could come visit to meet DC#2 (who is 3 weeks old).  My SIL told me that when her son was born our MIL came to visit and did not lift a single finger.  She was nursing a newborn, incredibly sleep deprived and was now responsible for looking after the ILs and her husband, who had stopped helping out once his parents showed up.  Based on this story and our interactions, I told my husband that we would not be entertaining any house guests, particularly, any that expect us to take care of them.

I would just be grateful that your parents are involved as is your SIL.

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