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[quote=Anonymous]I SOOO understand.  My DS had similar issues in 1st grade but I think with boys, it's not so bad as it is with girls (I have a NT girl, too).  Definitely email the teacher regarding your concerns and ask if she or the counselor have a periodic 'lunch bunch'.  They typically will invite a few kids or invite 1 kid who is then allowed to invite a couple of friends to join her for lunch.  It's a highly desirable thing and since the teacher/counselor is there, it's a facilitated conversation that has IME always been positive.  I would also consider joining your DD for lunch once a week for the next several weeks/month.  I know it's hard to get away from work but I committed to it.  I learned the names of all the kids in DS's class and, at that age, the kids love adult attention.  I also brought treats for each and every occasion (Memorial Day is coming up!) and DS got to pass them out.  I became very popular and some of that rubbed off on DS.  I also threw him an excellent birthday party that year.  I've got three kids so we don't normally do big parties but given his challenges that year, it was part of my plan.  These all worked and DS was able to enjoy goodwill from his classmates and had an easier time.

DS is now in 5th grade and still has lingering anxiety regarding 'friends'.  Again, by all accounts, he's well liked but he doesn't feel it.  When the teacher invited him to lunch and told him he could invite 3 friends, his response was that he didn't think anyone would want to have lunch with him and he was afraid to ask anyone.  The teacher asked for him.  She asked who wanted to have lunch with him and her.  A bunch of kids raised their hands and he got to choose 3.  She also recommended we invite another boy from his class over to play.  The kid was friendly with DS and, importantly, he's an all round upbeat kid.  That friendship has blossomed and DS is far more confident.    You also might be surprised how many other parents have concerns similar to yours.  DS invited the upbeat boy and another kid over for his birthday.  The mom of the other kid shared with me how happy she was to get the invitation because she was worried about her DS socially.  Turns out he's got some challenges and the invitation was a boost for him.  Who knew!?  He, too, is a nice kid and I'm happy to run my own little social group.  Hugs!  (Oh, I still bring treats to school for most occasions.  A lot of kids are excited to see me and DS still gets a lot of goodwill from that)[/quote]

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