Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh shoot, meant to put this in special needs.

You can ask Jeff Steele to move it. Just click the "report" button.

Oops, sorry! Looks like you already did.

Anonymous wrote:Oh shoot, meant to put this in special needs.

You can ask Jeff Steele to move it. Just click the "report" button.

OP here. Such great advice. Thanks all.

agree with talking to the school counselor about doing lunch bunches. these have really helped my kid.

I SOOO understand. My DS had similar issues in 1st grade but I think with boys, it's not so bad as it is with girls (I have a NT girl, too). Definitely email the teacher regarding your concerns and ask if she or the counselor have a periodic 'lunch bunch'. They typically will invite a few kids or invite 1 kid who is then allowed to invite a couple of friends to join her for lunch. It's a highly desirable thing and since the teacher/counselor is there, it's a facilitated conversation that has IME always been positive. I would also consider joining your DD for lunch once a week for the next several weeks/month. I know it's hard to get away from work but I committed to it. I learned the names of all the kids in DS's class and, at that age, the kids love adult attention. I also brought treats for each and every occasion (Memorial Day is coming up!) and DS got to pass them out. I became very popular and some of that rubbed off on DS. I also threw him an excellent birthday party that year. I've got three kids so we don't normally do big parties but given his challenges that year, it was part of my plan. These all worked and DS was able to enjoy goodwill from his classmates and had an easier time.

DS is now in 5th grade and still has lingering anxiety regarding 'friends'. Again, by all accounts, he's well liked but he doesn't feel it. When the teacher invited him to lunch and told him he could invite 3 friends, his response was that he didn't think anyone would want to have lunch with him and he was afraid to ask anyone. The teacher asked for him. She asked who wanted to have lunch with him and her. A bunch of kids raised their hands and he got to choose 3. She also recommended we invite another boy from his class over to play. The kid was friendly with DS and, importantly, he's an all round upbeat kid. That friendship has blossomed and DS is far more confident. You also might be surprised how many other parents have concerns similar to yours. DS invited the upbeat boy and another kid over for his birthday. The mom of the other kid shared with me how happy she was to get the invitation because she was worried about her DS socially. Turns out he's got some challenges and the invitation was a boost for him. Who knew!? He, too, is a nice kid and I'm happy to run my own little social group. Hugs! (Oh, I still bring treats to school for most occasions. A lot of kids are excited to see me and DS still gets a lot of goodwill from that)

My DD had this going on in K. I saw her "short comings" but she still deserved friends. I let it go because I thought they were so young that it would work out. It didn't and habits developed that involved a teacher acting like a (bully)child. Sad!

I would:
1.find a faculty/staff member to help you connect your daughter with a few (even 1) compatible friend
2. cultivate friendships outside of school. sometimes these are the friendships that work best
3. know that you will have to do a little tutoring with your daughter. If you don't put her in a social skills group you'll have to do the work. It doesn't come natural to her. I would not do drop play dates but host instead so that you can help her say the appropriate things and in the appropriate manner.

Our kids give us ulcers over the worrying, don't they? I keep thinking that I'll chill at some point, but then look at my parents and realize it never ends. You can look at that as depressing or spin it and do your best to live in the moment. Worry about the future and you'll have anxiety. Stress over the past and you'll be depressed. Mindfulness is the key, but easier said than done. Hang in there. The days are long, but the years are short.

The school counselor at our school is doing a friendship lunch bunch after SOL's. You can request help from the counselor on these issues. We have similar things going on in K.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your dd sounds exactly like my dd -- same age and everything. No advice, just sympathy.

Wish we knew you IRL.

Thank for the support, all. It helps.

If you want to try to get together, I'd suggest that one of you create an email alias (so not to identify yourself and keep DD's privacy). When posting on this forum, write it our email "at dot com," so it doesn't become fodder for SPAM.

Alternatively, pick a mutually agreed upon time and local park to meet up.

DS is a 1st grader who I was speech delayed, socially awkward and slow to make friends. We did several social skills classes and finally this year he has 2 friends in his class! You might want to seek out other quirky, socially awkward girls in the class. This is what worked for DS. I know how hard this is, but eventually she will find her match.

Anonymous wrote:Your dd sounds exactly like my dd -- same age and everything. No advice, just sympathy.

Wish we knew you IRL.

Thank for the support, all. It helps.

Expressive therapy center in Rockville has summer camps

Your dd sounds exactly like my dd -- same age and everything. No advice, just sympathy.

I am sorry your daughter is going through this. Have you invited one or two of the nicest girls over for a play date? Next year ask the counselor to invite her to a lunch buddy group or a similar activity. If you have time to support her, Girl Scouts can be fun, especially if there is a sympathetic leader.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again - anyone know of a good social skills group in MoCo? For kids who don't necessarily have behavioral issues and want so badly to have friends but have a hard time making them.

OP, I know exactly what you're going through! Here are some ideas for camps that emphasize speech issues: National Speech, Summer Buddies, Basic Concepts, Lab School--this last one is in DC.

Alvord Baker also has social skill groups.

Thank you! It's good to know we're not alone - I really wish I knew some other SN parents.
We are surrounded by typically developing kids who are socially at ease and leave my girl in the dust - not intentionally, but they are just in a different league socially.