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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and my prognosis is not very good.  My wife and I told our children today since I will be starting chemo on Wednesday.  My Doctor's office gave us some resources to help tell the children for which I am grateful.  As you can imagine the conversation did not go very well.  I am not looking for sympathy.  I am seeking out other families that have been through something similar.  I want to understand what this is going to do to my children.  This is going to be very hard on them especially the oldest.  How do i make this easier on them?  I am at a loss here . . . any advice is appreciated. [/quote]

A very good friend of mine from college died of cancer about 4 years ago.  He had two kids: 11 and 8.  They had a tough time with their dad's death, but with the help of their mom, their extended family, and friends they got through it.

How do you make it easier on them?

Tell them every day that you love them.

When you feel like being up and around during chemo, make sure you spend some time with them. Chemo is a sort of a black hole. People don't feel good during chemo.  My friend said that chemo days were the worst, and on day 2, he was feeling better, and on day 3, he felt human again, but day 3 was the day he went for more chemo.  He tried to spend time with his kids on day 2 or breakfast on day 3.

When you are in between rounds of chemo, do stuff as a family. My friend went to Scotland with his kids and to Disney World.

Make sure your legal house is in order. Get all your beneficiaries straight on your accounts and your real property and your life insurance. Make sure that your spouse knows how to apply for your SSI benefits for the children. (They can draw your SSI until they are 18.) If you and your wife feel good about where the finances are, you both will feel calmer and the kids will feel calmer.

There are therapists and support groups for kids of parents with cancer. [/quote]

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