Reply to How do you handle "attitude" from your preteen/teen girl?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What if DD is demanding you leave her room and yells "Get!" ? 
And no, we don't use that turn of phrase that in our home.

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Why am I in her room? Is this something that absolutely can't wait until later? We treat rooms as pretty personal spaces, any one of us can ask any other member of the family to remove themselves from our room and they must. Parents have more leeway when it's something that must be handled right now. I understand not every family shares that value, but I didn't have a place to myself when I was a teen and often it felt like I couldn't get away from the haranguing (from parents and siblings) even for a second.

Retreating to your room doesn't get you out of consequences for poor behavior or difficult discussions. Retreating for a time out until you're ready to resume the conversation is a reasonable and mature action.

As I am leaving her room, I would remind her to be polite, but if I've overstepped her attempt at setting boundaries by retreating to her room I understand anger in response.[/quote]

I think this is a good point. I think teens (and preteens, and all children, really) need to have a little space of their own. They need to be able to be by themselves when they're upset. Sometimes they are angry and don't even WANT to yell back, but feel they can't help it. Surely we've all experienced times we can't control our temper. I think it is great if the child knows she needs to be alone, and  a parent (like a sibling) should respect that. 
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