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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You know this really isn't about Christmas, right?  It's about your relationship with your ILs.  Considering how important this is for your DH and probably your kids, you know they have to go, right?  But, why on earth do you have to go for 5 days? Since they're only 2 hours away, I'm assuming you see them more than just at Christmas.   I don't mean this in a bad way but would they honestly miss you if you were only there for one day?  If you had to, you could stretch it to two days.  Even better if your ILs would give you and DH a date night.  You could drive up there, spend some time with the ILs but retreat to a hotel room with DH while the kids stayed with the ILs.[/quote]

It's actually not my ILs house.  It's one of DH's siblings'.  ILs and other siblings live elsewhere and come for Christmas.  That's why the five days - so everybody can spend time with family.

Yes, I know that if I didn't have other issues with DHs family this would probably be easier.  Things happen over 20 years and there are some resentments on both sides.

My own family (other than DH and DCs) is just my mom (I am an only child and so was she) and we always get together over New Year's.  Last year was no exception so she got the flu from hell.

I am inclined to tell DH that we will go this year, but for a shorter period, and if I feel people are being inconsiderate I will pick up the kids and leave and he will not give me any grief about it.[/quote]

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