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Reply to "Deadbeat Grown Sibling - WWYD"
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[quote=Anonymous]I have an uncle like this. My mom and dad had a conversation and decided that they couldn't in good conscience leave him entirely alone but also would not let him become a constant stressor to our nuclear family. They set up ground rules between the two of them as to what they would or wouldn't pay for (court costs, rehab, medical care=yes; rent, food, professional training=no, they would help him find government-funded assistance with those things). What they did pay they always paid directly ro the provider. If he was living on the streets (which he did on and off), they would buy him used but high-quality cold-weather gear, and would welcome him to join them for dinner as many nights as he was clean and sober. He was welcome to dine with us, shower and do laundry, but no overnights, and he was never alone with us kids. They also budgeted for him. They set aside a certain amount each month (amount varied over the 30+ years between their marriage and his death) and when an issue came up, that was the money they could use to help. If that money was used up, then they couldn't help. He never really shaped up, but at least he didn't drag our family into constant turmoil along with him. Sometimes that's the best you can do.[/quote]
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