Reply to If your kid is "grounded" what does that mean to you?

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Reply to "If your kid is "grounded" what does that mean to you?"

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[quote=Anonymous]If your kid usually has excellent judgment and hasn't done things that raised this degree of alarm, why not start by asking him what he thinks about what he's done?  And then follow by asking him what he thinks an appropriate consequence would be.

I'm not saying you necessarily accept the consequence he proposes.  But if he's a good and thoughtful kid who is aware he made a bad choice this time, it would be good to give him a chance to own his actions and their consequences.  Assuming he takes it seriously -- and proposes a consequence you believe is meaningful and appropriate -- it may even give you some peace of mind that he "gets it" and is not just giving lip service.

That said, if he blows off the request or low balls you with an inadequate consequence, you've learned something useful, too.  I would not over-react if he chooses this route.  Just treat his opening offer as a step in a larger dialogue.  Ask him to explain his reasoning, why he thinks it's appropriate etc., and then tell him how you feel about it and either counter-propose or prompt him to try again with a more appropriate consequence.  The goal is to TEACH HIM -- not just that his poor decisions trigger appropriate consequences, but also the judgment to evaluate what he's done.

GL.[/quote]

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