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[quote=Anonymous] You are mixing unimportant details and important ones. DH and yourself need to draw strict boundaries and follow through for the things that really matter, such as not accepting racist remarks or taking over your house. As for the more formal attitude, bless her, we could use more of that :-) I come from a French family where formality is de rigueur. It does not denote ethical depravity! Stay poised and courteous at all times with her, and do not be afraid to say smile and say "no, we are doing it our way." Do not be dragged into explanations. You have nothing to defend.[/quote]
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