Reply to how much to give as present for bar mitzvah?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why money? Do you really think that a kid should expect expensive monetary gifts from classmates?
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Nope - I think my kid should expect that at least a few of his friends will come to celebrate with him and enrich the occasion with their presence. Other than that I don't think he should have any expectation of what gift they might or might not bring. I hope that he would graciously accept and hopefully appreciate anything from a nice card to any present his friends thought he might like to a monetary gift in the amount the friend/family chooses to give. As the person or family hosting the event, I would teach my kid to be grateful for anything he received, whether it was a traditional gift in our culture, a more common type of birthday gift/gift item or simply someone's time to attend.

However, conversely, I expect my kid who is invited to a friend's party or event to find out whether or not the event is religious/cultural in nature and if so do sufficient research to determine, acquire, and give a gift that would be most appropriate in the friend's religion or culture regardless of what our culture would consider preferable. Politeness and appropriateness vary and if I/the kids found that giving cash was more appropriate than giving something else, I would try really hard personally to suspend my own culturally influenced reaction of feeling that giving cash was tacky and give the more appropriate gift.

As far as your point about gifts being expensive, many posts on this thread suggested that $18 - $36 was a perfectly acceptable amount for a peer or classmate, and I do not consider that unreasonable or even in the realm of 'expensive monetary gifts'.[/quote]

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