Reply to Brothers did not go to mother's funeral in their home town. Did they hate her?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]OP here: I have to guess about their reasons. I could speculate -- my guess -- greed and guilt play a role. I still cannot believe that they would just leave her body in the morgue. So sad.   Then refusing her a burial by refusing to sign paperwork. Who knew it would be the state who helped? What did they think they were going to prove? They are not poor, or drug addicts who cannot act responsibly.[/quote]

Why guess?  Why not ask them?  They could be assholes but, perhaps, they have legitimate grievances against your mother.  My dad was horrific and there's no way in hell I would have claimed his body or pay for his funeral.  I only attended the funeral because of my mother.  Two of my brothers refused to go.  I may have been a product of his biological act but that doesn't mean I owe  him anything.[/quote]

Not answering their phones, emails. As I said, I could guess, but have not had a face to face talk with any of them. I am far out of town and flew in for the funeral.[/quote]

Not to be critical OP, but obviously there is dischord in your family.  Even for busy adult siblings with their own kids, siblings are not usually so disconnected and out of contact.  Whatever happened in your family, maybe the same reason you have no idea what's going on with your brothers, your brothers didn't want to have anythign to do with your mom.  I'm the PP who said that in all my years of working with families, I've never met the family who did not speak to each other at all and didn things like not visit their parents ever in old age homes or skip the funeral without there being a TON of real drama, pain and crap.

I do not ask this to be critical, I ask this because since you raised it on a public message board, it would help paint the picture clearer: why are you so out of touch with your brothers?  Why don't you speak to them regularly, or why don't they speak to you?  And were you in regular touch with your mom before she died?  What did she say about her relationship with your brothers?

Either you are totally disconnected from your family (which is interesting in itself), OR there is disconnect with your brothers.  All of that makes your original question one that, the fact that you even have to ponder it here instead of being able to just ask them... dischord.  Big dischord if they skipped your mom's wedding.[/quote]

Sorry, wedding obviously should be funeral.  Also, you being very far away clearly is not a reason for no contact.  In this age of email, facebook and skype, people who really want t o be in touch are, even if htey're on opposite sides of the planet.[/quote]

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