Reply to Trying to decide about the magnet program at Eastern MS

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well, not to get off track, but that whole slap ass thing was so overblown here on DCUM.

It's a middle school and kids do stupid things.  The admin found out about it, communicated with parents, laid down the law to kids, end of story.

I have seen similar things at my other child's middle school -- kids make inappropriate decisions and MS boys can act like fools.   But to pull your child out of the program for that?  Ridiculous.

I know someone is going to post about "my child felt threatened" etc., but I can't help believe if it were upper middle class white boys coming up with this, parents would not have reacted so strongly.[/quote]

"The admin found out about it, communicated with the parents, laid down the law to kids, end of story."

I am an Eastern parent, and I just want to be clear that I don't think your description is an accurate reflection of what happened at Eastern with regard to the "Slap Ass" weeks.  Yes, I say "weeks" plural.  These incidents happened at least three times -- once in the fall of 2011, again in the spring of 2012 and again in the 2012-2013 school year.  Each time dozens of kids were involved.  Parents were only notified via the listserv about the first incident, and maybe the second, but definitely not the third.  The listserv only reaches about 1/3 of the school population at max.  No letters were ever sent home to the entire parent population.  These incidents never appeared on subsequent school safety and security reports that are made public.

Clearly, since these incidents occurred multiple times over a long period of time, the principal did not, IMO, "lay down the law" to the kids.  Nor was it "end of story."

If a woman had to go to work every day in the environment that my DD has reported at school, you can bet that corporation would be sued for sexual harassment.  If someone slapped the ass of a female staffer on the way to the office staff meeting, the slapper would be fired for that behavior.  These kinds of behaviors are absolutely forbidden in our work environment; why would we expect anything less for our daughters (and in some cases, sons) at school?  I absolutely understand the parents who pulled their girl children from the program over this.  Do I think it's right that they had to do that in order to have their child at a school where they felt like they could learn without having to endure unwanted sexual contact?  No.  But, I do know it is not uncommon for people who experience these kinds of events to feel unsafe in the same environment, particularly when they feel that the incidents have gone (or will go) unpunished.  Calling that "ridiculous" is victim-blaming.

You have introduced race into this story ("I can't help believe if it were upper middle class white boys coming up with this, parents would not have reacted so strongly.")  I can honestly say that at no time have I ever heard anyone at the school (including, to their credit, the EMS staff) ask about the race of the perpetrators or victims.  To this day, I have no idea what races were involved.  It is completely irrelevant to the issue at hand.

Finally, kids do make inappropriate decisions and boys (and girls) do act like fools at this age.  That may be an argument for more "education" and a punishment that is less than "conviction" or "expulsion," but it is not an argument for diminishing the seriousness of these events or minimizing the impact they have.  Nor is it relevant that these incidents happen at other schools -- that is only goes to show that this is an issue that needs to be addressed system-wide by MCPS.  [/quote]

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