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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I just grew out of it, I guess.  At a certain point I realized that my mother will never admit all the wrongs she had done to me as a child/teen - she still believes that she did the best she could.  We have a good relationship now (she is my only relative other than my husband and children and she loves her grandkids), but it took me consciously deciding, as an adult, that I just needed to move on - the hatred hurts the hater, not the hated.[/quote]

This only works if the issues are in the past. But glad it's worked for you, PP.[/quote]

I agree with you - it is very hard to move past your feelings when her behavior continues.  I've been dealing with this for years and years and years!  Her behavior continues to be hateful, mean spirited, slighting, etc.  My head has told me that I need to move on and get past it, but my feelings have continued to be hurt (her treatment of me and of my kids in particular).  That said, recently I've understood that I just have to look at her (alternating) outbursts, mean comments, and deliberate ignoring of my kids as reinforcement that my decision to distance myself and to protect myself/kids is the right decision.

There is power in changing how you look at the situation.  I understand how you feel and I wish you luck in dealing with your situation to the best of your ability.  It is hard and I get that.[/quote]

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